Most coaching models weren’t built for neurodivergent minds. But as an AuDHDer—someone who is both autistic and ADHD—our Associate Kevin French sees coaching through a completely different lens.

For years, I masked, burned out, and felt like I wasn’t “doing life right.” I tried traditional approaches to coaching and therapy, only to feel misunderstood, overwhelmed, and pathologized. It wasn’t until I embraced my neurodivergence that I found my true coaching style—one that makes space for deep focus and scattered energy, authenticity and adaptability, structure and creativity.


Ever heard of AuDHD? It’s the intersection of Autism + ADHD, and while the term itself is relatively new, the experience is anything but. For those of us who are both autistic and ADHDers, life is a mix of deep focus and scattered energy, intense passion and executive dysfunction, structured thinking and impulsive creativity.

As an AuDHDer coach, my lived experience isn’t just part of my identity—it’s a core strength in how I support my neuro-divergent coaching clients. Here’s why:

Common Traits of AuDHD

• Hyperfocus & Creativity – I dive deep into ideas (particularly topics that interest me) and see connections others miss. I don’t think outside of the box, there is no box! 
• Intense Empathy – I feel deeply, and can be highly attuned to my clients. (It is a common myth that autistics do not experience empathy). 
• Pattern Recognition – I notice underlying themes and systemic challenges quickly. This can be particularly helpful in understanding my clients’ own internal system of thinking, and the external systems and environments in which they operate.
• Authenticity – I learned to mask my neuro-divergence for years without myself or anyone else knowing. But underneath this are core values of honesty and authenticity, and this shows up in my coaching - no masks, no fluff—just real, honest coaching.

But like any strength, these traits come with challenges:

• Energy Management – Balancing deep engagement with burnout risk. I have experienced multiple burnouts in my previous career from not being attentive to my own needs, not protecting my own energy and my boundaries, and prioritising the needs of others for the sake of connection and belonging (because of my differences).
• The Goldilocks Curve – My Autistic brain likes order and routine, whilst my ADHD brain likes chaos and spontaneity, so I need to consciously appease both parts of who I am, to keep my system in balance. Too much stimulation and I can get overwhelmed, not enough stimulation and I can become bored and restless. Befriending all of my parts is key.
• Social Exhaustion – Supporting others means I need to fiercely protect my own recharge time. Of course, this is true of all helping professionals. But for those of us that are neuro-divergent, because we think and feel differently, we often need more time to rest and recharge from social situations, and we need more time to transition between different tasks and environments.

How Lived Experience Shapes My Coaching

In my early coaching days, I still didn’t truly know myself, or the clients I wanted to work with. I struggled to meet my clients where they were. There is a saying, you can only take your clients as deep as you have been yourself. The opposite can also be true. And for someone that has always struggled with small talk, I didn’t know how to engage. I was socially awkward.

I was not a “good” coaching client either. I didn’t know how to show up for a coaching session. I needed more structure. I was terrible at check-ins (I still am). And “powerful” questions just don’t compute with my brain. My experience of talk therapy was even worse. There was even less structure. I would find myself in deep rabbit holes that I wasn’t able to climb out from. And I found myself being boxed into a label, pathologized, a problem to be fixed. 

This led me to seek out alternative ways to cope with life’s challenges (and rediscover old ones). It was upon reading the book, “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel Van der Kolk that changed my outlook. It suddenly made sense of why I enjoyed going to football matches, music festivals, ecstatic dance and solo travel. These are the paradoxes of living as an AuDHDer. We can be overstimulated by noise, bright lights or social gatherings, and at the same time these are the things we crave, in the right setting. 

It was in understanding and coming to terms with my own neurodivergence that I truly began to shine as a coach and as a human being. I learned to love and accept myself for who I am. I realised that I wasn’t broken and didn’t need “fixing”. That my masking was a recipe for disconnection. That my need for belonging was being fuelled by my internalised ableism. That my neurodivergent traits can be both a strength, given the right environment, and an invisible disability, at other times.  

Much of what I learned as a coach I have needed to adapt to make it more neuro-inclusive, both for myself and for my coaching clients. 

As someone who has navigated masking, burnout, and internalized ableism, I create a coaching space that embraces neurodivergence—not one that tries to “fix” it.

• Unmasking difference – unpacking any internalised ableism that can fuel perfection, shame, rejection sensitivity and unrealistic expectations on yourself and others, and befriending those parts that have been working so hard to protect you
• Strength-based coaching – Your brain isn’t broken. I find the environment that supports you to thrive. I help you to identify your neuro-divergent strengths, your values and the behaviours that support you at your best.
• Acceptance and understanding – I help you to explore the intersectionality of your neuro-difference and other aspects of your identity, so that you are more compassionate and understanding of yourself, and the way that your brain works.
• Self regulation – I help you to regulate your emotions, your body senses, and your thinking, in ways that work for you – in a way that recognises your different ways of processing information. 

It’s time for coaching to evolve. More ND coaches mean more ND-friendly coaching—where burnout isn’t the price of success, and authenticity isn’t optional.

Kevin is a Co-Active Coach, a Certified Positive Intelligence Coach, a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, and an Internal Family Systems informed coach. Kevin specialises in helping neurodivergent high achievers who want to optimize their performance and wellbeing.

www.kevinfrenchlifecoaching.com

We are what we do and we love what we do.