It's LGBT History Month. Our associate Yatin Mistry writes about how the way we see ourselves influences our reality.

Have you ever tried on someone else’s glasses and suddenly everything looks wonky? You’re squinting, dizzy, and questioning your entire life? Well, that’s perspective in action. And as LGBTQ+ people, especially those of us from marginalized backgrounds, we’ve been handed some seriously distorted lenses by society. But guess what? We can swap them out for a new, more fabulous pair.

So, here’s the thing: I’ve had the privilege of coaching with Result CIC, an organisation dedicated to empowering individuals from marginalised communities. Through their Inclusion Fund, they offer free coaching sessions to those who might not otherwise afford them. Working with incredible individuals from programs like Ideas into Action, which supports refugees in developing social enterprises, one common theme keeps popping up; how we see ourselves. Turns out, our brains are like social media algorithms; they latch onto the stories we tell about ourselves, especially the negative ones, and keep feeding us more of the same until we believe it's the only reality.

Take this classic scenario: You’re in a meeting, you share a brilliant idea, and someone in the corner chuckles. Instantly, your brain spirals. They’re laughing at me. I sound ridiculous. Why do I even speak? Meanwhile, they probably just got a funny meme from their mate on their phone, which you don't even notice. But nope, we’ve already decided we’re the joke. Why? Because of the years of messages telling us we don’t belong, that we’re not worthy, that we’re less than.

As a gay Indian man, I get it. When I came out, I had the whole "I’m unlovable" narrative on repeat because I saw rejection from my family as proof. Never mind that I had friends who adored me or that my brother embraced me with love (after laughing for five minutes when I came out, but hey, we all have our processes). I still clung to the one painful rejection and ignored the love that surrounded me. But over time, I realized that my narrative wasn’t just unhelpful, it was holding me back from truly embracing the love and support that was already there. By consciously shifting my perspective from "unlovable" to "I am enough and complete," I began to see my worth more clearly. This change in mindset not only transformed my confidence but also allowed me to step into my power and become the person I am today, someone I love.

And here’s the wild part, this isn't just a queer thing. As part of working with Result CIC, I’ve had the opportunity to work with refugees who, despite facing unimaginable challenges, still want to contribute, build businesses, and give back. What sets them apart? They’ve chosen to see their struggles as a source of strength rather than a life sentence. They’ve changed their lenses.

As a coach, I see this transformation firsthand. I’ve worked with clients who walk into sessions convinced they are not enough, stuck in cycles of self-doubt. But through the coaching process, by challenging limiting beliefs, highlighting strengths, and helping them recognize their achievements, they start to see themselves in a new light. One client I worked with as part of the inclusion fund, for example, believed they weren’t worthy of a promotion despite being incredibly skilled. By breaking down their accomplishments and shifting their self-perception, they gained the confidence to step up.

Our perspectives shape our realities. If we’re constantly wearing lenses that tell us we’re not enough, we’ll find evidence everywhere. But if we swap them for ones that highlight our strengths, we’ll see that we’ve been shining all along.

So, my fellow fabulous human, what lenses are you rocking today? And are they truly helping you see the beauty in yourself? If not, it's time for a new prescription.

We are what we do and we love what we do.